The answer is …. a lot …… but we aren’t often consciously aware of it.
There is a lot to say about this BUT to keep it relatively short and sweet for you:
The years from birth up until the age of 7 are considered to be our most formative developmental years.
Throughout this time we develop our sense of self and the MENTAL MAPS that we will go on to use throughout our lives. The way we do this is in RELATION to our external world i.e how we are treated by our primary caregivers & the experiences that we subsequently have as we grow and develop.
During this time our Ego is developed, in order to help us to navigate the world and the Ego's primary aim or function is to maintain STATUS QUO as this is what FEELS SAFE even if it is actually not safe at all.
If our home environment is chaotic and unsafe, our infant nervous system will come to recognise and interpret this wrongly as SAFE and then in adulthood we can subconsciously seek out chaotic and un-safe relationships and situations - healthy relationships/situations will feel uncomfortable to us.
The way we are RELATED TO by our care-givers & the experiences that we have will also determine whether or not we feel the world is a safe place to be & more importantly; if it is a safe place for us to be our SELVES?
Is it safe to behave in accordance to our true-selves? or do we need to adapt and moderate our behaviour and hide our true self in order to be safe or receive affection, nurture and to have our needs met?
Do you loose your temper regularly & find certain events or conversations hard? These events are often referred to as ‘triggers’ and when you have been triggered you are not reacting as your present ‘adult’ self to what has actually happened BUT to your interpretation or perception of what has happened.
Ask yourself : What's underneath the anger? How has this situation made me feel really?
I invite you to explore how your childhood may be showing up in your day-to-day reactions and perceptions of the world.
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