World Suicide Prevention Day
Today is the Samaritans ‘World Suicide Prevention Day’, the Samaritans along with other organisations are doing vital work around raising awareness and campaigning for more action from our Government in improving the services, resources and interventions available to turn the tide of the worrying increase in suicide rates across the UK.
The thought of anyone we know and love dying for any cause is unbelievably distressing and as such Death is a topic of conversation that is shied away from despite the fact it is actually one of the only certainties in life. Generally, we don’t want to think or talk about death openly, our own or anyone else’s. It is still in essence a ‘taboo’ subject and this denial of our own mortality makes talking about Suicide and Suicide Prevention even harder.
Many families are too often devastated by Suicide and the fact is that “we know Suicide is preventable, it is not inevitable” (https://www.samaritans.org/support-us/campaign/world-suicide-prevention-day/)
If there were less stigma around mental health issues in general, then a lot more people would have access to and feel able to ask for the help and the support that they desperately need.
In 2018 in the UK and the Republic of Ireland 6,800 people died of suicide, which showed a significant increase, the first since 2013. Every life lost is a tragedy and the families, friends and loved ones left to pick up the pieces have to find a way to process and accept what has happened if they can.
Currently in the UK men are 3 times more likely to die from Suicide than women and the highest rate age group is 45-49 year olds. These statistics are quite frankly shocking and are a red flag for the culture of toxic masculinity and stigma that still exists in our society today, across all walks of life.
From birth, boys and girls are treated differently; the gender stereotypes are so intrinsically engrained in the fabric of our society that it happens unconsciously and this is how it has always been … or is that just our perception?
Did you know for instance, that pink was considered the colour for boys and blue for girls up until as recently as 1918? It was only after World War 2 that this changed and fashion brands began to market children’s clothing in the way we know of today with pink for girls and blue assigned to boys.
Perception is everything, therefore we experience the world through our own unique lens or filter that we develop throughout our childhood experiences and the relationships we have with our care-givers.
If we are to see real change, as a society, we need to interrupt the status quo with awareness, education and compassion. If we empowered both our male children and our female children with the knowledge that emotions are there to be felt, there is no shame in our tears or our fears; expressing them is healthy and necessary for long lasting good mental health. What effect would you suppose that would have on these shocking statistics?
Another group at risk of suicide is young people aged between 16-24, where suicide is the biggest killer of people in this age group. The thought of any young person feeling that this is their only option is devastating, for their family, friends and for our wider society as a whole. The loss of a child to suicide is one of the hardest, if not the hardest loss to bear and the causes are often complex. Studies have shown that it ‘usually follows a combination of adverse childhood experiences, stressors in early life and recent events’ (The Samaritans Suicide Stat Report 2019.)
These statistics paint a rather grim picture of a society where too many people across all age groups feel that they have nowhere left to turn and they can see no other option. Behind every statistic is a human being; a life lost, their family and friends left devastated. All of whom have been failed in some way by the lack of understanding and mental health provision that is available. The pervasive sense of hopelessness and helplessness in severe depression is so far reaching that asking for help can feel so immensely difficult it just feels impossible. This is why it is so important to create and foster open communication about mental health at all levels of society, within the family unit, in schools, in the workplace and within wider social discourse.
More needs to be done, as although progress has been made in some areas it is clearly not reaching those who need it the most, the rates are rising and unfortunately I fear the longer lasting repercussions of the current Covid 19 Pandemic will be the effects on mental health. The impact of lost income, isolation and continued restrictions on our freedom and social interactions will undoubtably result in an increase of depression and anxiety across the board for years to come.
If you have a family member or friend who you know is suffering from depression then please do what you can to ‘reach in’, do all you can to encourage them to talk to someone and get some help. It is not an easy conversation to start so here are some ways in which you can support someone who is suicidal:
Ensure Their Safety - remove dangers/ensure they’re in a safe environment/if they have high intent call a crisis line or the emergency services
Don’t Judge - This will make them feel more alone and discourage them from opening up again in future.
Listen empathetically - It is so important for someone feeling suicidal to feel heard, the more understanding you are the less alone they will feel.
Be Patient - It is not easy to vocalise how you are feeling when Suicidal.
Remind them how much you love them and that they are not a burden - often those who are feeling suicidal genuinely believe that others will be better off without them.
Don’t jump straight into ‘problem solving’ - If you jump straight to problem solving without understanding this will come across as un-relatable, unhelpful and can discourage them from reaching out again (eg ‘you should get outside in nature more’)
Empower Them - Remind them of all their accomplishments, strengths, positive traits and how proud you are of them.
Don’t Force Conversation - Sometimes just being there and sitting in silence or giving them a hug will show them you are there for them without expectation.
Help with a Daily Task - Maybe it’s making the bed, doing some laundry or ordering some groceries, this will all help to reduce the overwhelm they’ll have when coming out of such a dark place.
Encourage Professional care - if ‘low risk’ gently encourage therapy and help make it easy for them by offering to go with them to see their GP. Offer ti make the appointment for them.
(Source The Depression Project)
It is important to recognise that suicidal thoughts are most often an extreme mechanism to avoid unbearable pain and there is often a great deal of shame experienced by the person suffering for having these thoughts which can be a factor in not feeling able to ask for help.
The most important thing we can do collectively is to end the stigma through open discourse and awareness alongside increased resources made readily available for all those who need it.
One thing you can do individually today, is to check in on all of your loved ones, as just one kind word or encounter at the right moment could be life-saving.
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Samaritans Helpline : 116 123 24/7 or email jo@samaritans.org (response time 24 hours)