As it’s Friday and the weekend is almost upon us I wanted to talk about alcohol and mental health by sharing some of my personal story and the reasons why I made the decision to stop drinking alcohol nearly 18 months ago.
Throughout my teens and twenties I LOVED going out and partying; I lived for it for a long time but the weekdays in between were not so easy to navigate.
When I left school I moved to Leeds, to say I hit it hard is an understatement but I do look back on these days as the best, most carefree and ridiculous times of my life and always with nostalgia.
Life-long friendships were formed on the dance floor and I count the majority of the people in my life then, still as important to me now. However, some of the stories and reckless behaviour that I was involved in makes me cringe and I realise now that I was searching for something to distract me from the pain I was in. Self-medicating to avoid dealing with experiences I had buried and mental health issues that hadn’t been recognised or acknowledged - it never ever helps in the long run. How I saw it at the time was very different however, I was living my life as I wanted & on my terms, or so I believed and I had no thought for the future, just the next night out and to be fair, it was really good fun … for a while.
Over the years the hang-overs seemed to intensify and what I was searching for seemed harder to reach; the pre-night out ‘butterflies’ developed into full blown anxiety. “What are you worried about? You’re only going out to meet your friends and have a good time!”
It felt irrational and hard to process, why was I struggling so much when others around me seemed to be able to still hit it as hard and sail into the week no problem? It took me another 8 years and having a child to realise that my relationship with alcohol was not a positive one and that the anxiety I was experiencing on a daily basis was fuelled by it. I read somewhere that drinking alcohol, if you have anxiety, is like pouring petrol onto a fire and this is by far the best analogy I can think of. The issues I was having were not caused by alcohol initially, the roots of it went back to my childhood but I had reached a tipping point where I knew I had to take back control of my life and my mental health.
I’d like to make it clear that I wasn’t what society would deem an ‘alcoholic’ but you don’t have to reach societies’ perceived rock bottom to make changes. I didn’t drink all day/every day, I was able to moderate and only drink at the weekends. I was able to take on ‘Dry Jan’ or periods of abstinence, finding it easy to go a month or two without a drop, knowing that as soon as the ‘detox' days were over I would be drinking again. I struggled to have just one or two drinks though, no matter what the situation, it would always end up being one or two or three bottles.
“One of the main problems associated with using alcohol to deal with any kind of mental health problem is that regular consumption of alcohol changes the chemistry of the brain. It decreases the levels of the brain chemical serotonin - a key chemical linked to depression. As a result of this depletion, a cyclical process begins where one drinks to relieve depression, which causes serotonin levels in the brain to be depleted, leading to one feeling even more depressed, and thus necessitating even more alcohol to then medicate this depression.” www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/a/alcohol-and-mental-health
September 2018 I made the decision that I was going to stop drinking … indefinitely. I didn’t want to say it was ‘forever’ but I knew I wanted to do at least a year. I ended up carrying on longer than that and I have now reached 508 days and counting. The only alcohol I have had in that whole time is a couple of glasses of Champagne on Christmas Day. It felt right at the time and I haven’t been tempted since… I feel I have broken the dependency I had on it and I am now in full control of my consumption; I choose not to drink alcohol and I couldn’t be happier about it.
Overall it has been an overwhelmingly positive journey, I cannot recommend highly enough if you are struggling with any mental health issue to try cutting out alcohol. It may not be easy, in fact it won’t be easy, as the by-product of cutting out alcohol is that you are forced to face up to whatever it is you have been hiding from. Things that have been buried and disguised by your habitual drinking, however severe or casual it is, will start to come to the surface of your awareness BUT this is when you are able to start the journey to process, accept, forgive & ultimately grow.
I would highly recommend seeking the help of a therapist during this time especially if you are finding it at all hard to stick to. Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy allows you identify the things that you are holding onto that are causing you pain, it helps you to process and let them go. You do not have to carry it with you and you will feel more stable and grounded as you begin to re-discover who you truly are without the crutch and influence of alcohol.
There are many many ‘Sober’ focus books, podcasts, instagram accounts and events now that are really helpful, funny, educational and entertaining. The conversation around alcohol is starting to change, there are many alcohol free alternative drinks available in bars and clubs now and people are waking up to the fact that alcohol is not all that it is portrayed to us as, in the media.
Last week I went to a sober event at The Box in Soho, organised by @soberandsocial and it was ace; really busy, a great atmosphere and not a drop of alcohol was served to anyone… all night; People were dancing on the stages and sofas. I didn’t use to believe it to be honest but it is possible to have an amazing night without having a drink, you still get a good sleep and wake up the next morning feeling fresh! A no brainer…. Surely?
If you’d like to find out more about how I can help you, please call or email me. I’m here to help.
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